We live in such a connected world. It’s hard to come to a decision of whether or not we want our child to have access or be accessed through the technological world. Kids are getting… More
Do you tend to do too much for your kids?
Do you hold your kids accountable for their actions?
What about chores and responsibilities at home, what are your expectations for your kids?
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Sometimes life is hard. Pain comes. Grief, betrayal, suffering, and sickness are all a part of living in today’s world. Sometimes putting on a brave face and moving forward is the last thing that we want to do. This is when knowing how to access the courage needed to brave the worst hard makes all the difference.
Most of us are aware of the great debate of Nature Vs. Nature.
Maybe she’s born with it, Maybe it’s Maybelline? Nope, beyond that.
What are we born with and what comes from coaching and training? I know babies are innocent but we have a sinful nature that we are inclined to follow and be guided by from a very young age.
Let’s take a simple example, patience. This is one thing I have seen “grow” in my children. Something I have had to nurture. We aren’t born with patience. A child doesn’t understand patience AT ALL. Have you ever had to drive home as your infant was getting hungry? No time to warm up a bottle. No time to make a bottle. Just step on it and get us home before we damage our child for life. HA! the pressure! There is no longer ride than the ride home with a screaming baby, even if it’s only a 4 minute drive!
As parents it is our job to help our children LEARN patience. We are definitely born with a selfish nature. Does anyone remember the commercial that said, “IT’S MY MONEY AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!” Oh gosh, does that remind me of childhood. I can’t wait for what I WANT! I WANT IT NOW!
Now, babies aren’t wrong. They are hungry, tired, cold, hot, sleepy, gassy, and/or bored, and this is their way of communicating. I am not saying babies are sinning. No, they are being blatantly honest about their needs.
Now, fast-forward to the child who is 5 or 6 years old. By this time, patience should be better than that of a 6-month old. Why? Because they’ve had some training. The training could come from being told to find something to do while waiting, a little more knowledge of the concept of time and the measure of time, or possibly learned coping mechanisms from watching the people in their family during a time of wait. Either way, patience is learned. This fruit of the spirit is grown and tended to. At some point in our lives patience is tended to by our self.
We must grow in our walk with Christ. It is a daily battle against flesh.
Galatians 5:16 reads:
“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
Let’s help our children walk by the Spirit and not by the flesh. Let’s help them be more and more like Christ each day of their lives.
CHALLENGE FOR THIS WEEK: Give up one “selfish” thing this week and replace it with and act of service or kindness for someone else.
For Example: Maybe you have $5 on your Starbucks gift card and were looking forward to a drink for yourself. Give up that coffee for someone else and pray for that person. Ask God to bring someone to mind that may need a pick me up and prayer.
This is such a wonderful article! We need to build our children’t self-esteem!! Please read this one parents!
After jumping down from a tree at the park my son stood up, did a little victory dance and then ran off to play on an obstacle course. It’s a pretty tricky course that requires balance, agility and coordination. It looked like it would take him a while to have it mastered. Sure enough my son struggled […]
Yum! My kids mouths were watering over this one! I can’t wait to try it. Here is the link to the video showing you how to make them!
Let’s face it. We live in a scary world with possible danger at every turn. We worry about safety and often have thoughts that are frightful and reinforced by stories on the news or from others. How do we protect our kids from such a scary world without crippling them and sheltering them too much?
We’ve been given a job, but that job isn’t to insulate our children from every risk and every pain that is bound to happen because of it. Our job is to ultimately help our children become the best version of themselves as adults. The truth is that most pain brings growth and we must develop a mentality that helps us to allow our children to grow and become the best adults they can become.
I once expressed my fear of losing my children to a scary world, whether it was physically or spiritually. Another mother quickly shared with me a moment in her life in which her child was playing on a playground. Her daughter climbed to the top of the equipment to go down a big slide and fell. Her daughter was at what seemed to be a point of no return when being tended to by a medical team. However, miraculously her child survived the fall. It was in that moment the mother realized that what happened to her child was out of her control. She was simply having fun on the same playground with so many other children. Her child could have died! She realized how little she really controlled whether or not something bad would happen to her daughter. It could have been anything. Yet, she couldn’t live her life in fear and never allow her child to experience anything ever again.
I realized the stories I had heard in the past of children being hurt in different ways and realized, yes for the most part it is out of my control unless I am to sit and watch my children like a hawk and protect them from every harm I think may happen. (In that case, no sharp objects, no heights, no tools, no stoves, no foods that may have bacteria, no food that isn’t prepared by myself only, and the list goes on and on.) I am reminded of the lady in the story “A Series of Unfortunate Events” telling my children not to hold a sharp pencil or touch a stove or this or that because of the risk of something bad happening. What a horrible life to lead. A life in fear.
Psychologists in Europe have found that if a child never goes outside and is never allowed to experience pain, such as the dreaded skinned knee we have all most likely experienced at some point in our lives, they will be more prone to experiencing phobias as adults. How will a child ever know the levels of pain if they never get bit by an ant or step on a sticker.
One example I can offer is when we lived at a house which was riddled with goat heads. I hated our backyard and it was a big endeavor to try to rid it of goat heads. Our children would often time track them in when they would step outside. We all had our share of hopping around on one foot while pulling one out of our feet. Now, like most people we all hate getting shots. My son was due for one and I spoke to him about the pain of stepping on a goat head and was able to have him think about goat heads while the nurse administered the shot. He didn’t cry, he didn’t even budge. I asked him, “Which hurt worse?” He immediately responded, “The goat heads hurt worse! Definitely!” Wow, what a teaching moment for both of us.
Kids need to fall a few time to learn that it’s normal. They need to experience difficult friendships or relationships as teens to recognize the difference between true friendship and false ones and even how to BE a good friend to someone else. If we as parents completely remove risk from our child’s life, we may in the long run harm our child, causing them to be fearful, have low self-esteem, never learn to be a good friend, and never learn to lead by example and teach from their own experiences.
Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-4
Just as trials bring patience, many other things we experience bring growth in many other aspects of our lives. We may not wish pain on our children and we should never purposely put them in harms way, but we should allow them to take risks and experience life without fear.
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This is how I’ve done it ever since I learned from my mom and this blog!
One of my very favorite things about summertime is watermelon. There isn’t a single bad thing about it, particularly now that seedless watermelon is everywhere you go. But I hate cutting them up. Well, hated. Last summer my sister-in-law showed me a beyond brilliant and easy way to chop up that huge block of red deliciousness. I can now cut up a watermelon into impressive uniform size chunks in less than half the time. So, just in time for this weekend’s BBQ here’s a little watermelon how-to.Make sure you’ve got a big sharp knife. And then keep your fingers away from it. First cut that big guy in half and then trim off the end.
Start slicing off chunks of watermelon rind at an angle, following the curve of the melon.
You’ll end up with something that looks like this.
Then go around the melon again, trimming off the…
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